So I made a short chill music mix for you all. At first I was just gonna send the opening song to my friend Lane because she heard me play it during a DJ set and wanted it. But I figured i may as well make a short mix for everyone - its really choppy and i didnt even beatmatch some but what ev. I am working on a longer mix for all your fourth of July parties, Ill have that up by thursday, but for now enjoy this and “how to fail five driving tests”.
So this weekend was INSANE. We had a hotel room at the Roosevelt all weekend and basically just went off. Pool all day, Les Deux on Saturday, SBar Sunday and bottles all around. The coolest part was that Hammer himself was IN our hotel room for 3 hours just kickin it. He was pretty chill and was humored by us yelling “Too Legit To Quit”, “Hammer Time”, and whatever else we could think of that was extremely annoying. Here’s a blast from the past that sums up the weekend pretty nicely:
Forget about all the stories and pictures youve seen of Amy Winehouse partying and doing crazy shit. The past week has really impressed me. She spent a lot of time in the hospital because she broke her lungs from smoking too many drugs. She was seen smoking a cig on her way out of the hospital. Then this video of her jacking a fan in the face mid song surfaced. I recomend you keep your eyes on this one.
Last night was pretty crazy. Jordan can attest to that. I am working on some mixs right now and Reno 911 came on. Terry is my hero.
yesterday was the birthday of alldayson’s creator, Andrew. To commemorate such an occasion here is a mostly naked dude next to a cake.
Billy Ray may not need to depend on Mily for a paycheck much longer. Hundreds of thousands of French people are line dancing…. Awesome. I smell a comeback. Its so popular the government is stepping in.
They turn out in their hundreds in Stetsons and boots as hits such as the Crazy Foot Mambo and the Cowboy Strut echo around their village halls.
They are drawn by a love of American culture - although definitely not American politics - and a passion for line dancing, which enables them to swing but avoid all human contact.
Now country and western has become so big in France that the country’s bureaucrats have decided to bring the craze under state control.
The French administration has moved to create an official country dancing diploma as part of a drive to regulate the fad. Authorised instructors who have been on publicly funded training courses will be put in charge of line dancing lessons and balls.
The rules, which come into force next year, come after the rapid spread of country and western in France, where an estimated 100,000 people line dance several times a week. Jean Chauveau, the chairman of the country section of the French Dance Federation, said: “It’s growing at a crazy rate. There are thousands of clubs and more are springing up all the time.”
Mimi-me has a sex tape. This is gross (see pic).
Let me know if you can find a video link that actually works. He sued a bunch of people so the tape was taken offline.
But let me restate, that’s gross.
- I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
- Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!
- A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
- If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
- There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. ‘All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.’ That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.
- The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.’
- Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
- You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
- Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
- Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
- Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
- I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
- I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
- Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: ‘We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.’
- Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
- I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
- What year did Jesus think it was?
- George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
- The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
- Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
- Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
- ‘No comment’ is a comment.
- You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
- So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
- The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.
- I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
R.I.P.
FROM CRAIGSLIST
Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him.
This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:
Great with children (assuming you don’t like the children). Probably best used for professional catfighting. He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be. This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink. Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide.
Neutered (trust me, you wont want to him to procreate). Has not been declawed, but you’ll figure that out really fast.
Understands and responds to a variety of vulgar and profane verbal commands. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it.
Willing to accept trades. Potential adopters must have experience with trained attack-kittens… please be prepared to show scars.
For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.
This is what i am imagining my birthday will be like.
