Here’s a funny video from an old Saturday Night Live episode with Alec Baldwin (hilarious). I’ve heard from a bunch of my financial friends that stocks are going to keep crashing for a while. Good thing most of my finances are tied up in fat heads and obnoxious jewelry.

I’ve gotten various emails today asking if I am the Luke Walton stalker. I appreciate everyone thinking I could stoop low enough to stalk the hottest Laker (let’s be honest…it’s not a stretch), but if I was going to stalk an NBA player, it would either be Shaq or my newly discovered favorite, DJ Strawberry. I love the quotes from Luke in this article that can be found here.

“Woman charged with stalking Lakers forward Walton

MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — A woman has been charged with stalking Los Angeles Lakers forward Luke Walton. Stacy Elizabeth Beshear of El Segundo was arrested Sept. 18 after she pulled up to his car and pretended to fire gunshots at him with her hand, police Sgt. Steve Tobias said. The 34-year-old Beshear has pleaded not guilty to a misdemeanor count of stalking. A Nov. 6 trial date has been set in the case. She faces up to a year in county jail if convicted, district attorney spokeswoman Jane Robison said Tuesday. A phone number for Beshear was not in service. Walton said Beshear has been harassing him since late last year. He told the Orange County Register she waited outside his Manhattan Beach home numerous times and wrote on his car with a marker after he refused to sign an autograph. “When she pulled up to my house and started yelling at me after she fired a fake gun at me, I couldn’t help but to start yelling back at her,” Walton said. “She was in my driveway. But when we were interacting, I could tell by the stuff she was saying that she’s not all there in the head — which makes me feel bad for her. At the same time, most people who go on killing sprees are people who aren’t all there in the head.”"

I can’t tell if I’m in love with this guy or totally nauseated by him… I think it’s a little bit of both. But at least he uses Darryl’s classic rap song “Chocolate Strawberry” for the intro to his show.

I went to the Indian Casinos in Milwaukee this past weekend with a bunch of my college friends, it was really fun. We all got on the same craps table and won wheel barrows full of cash. We also went to this bar where you play a game in which you hammer a nail into a huge stump and the last one to get the nail all the way in has to buy the next round. Wisconsin is so weird/awesome.

It’s Will Smith’s 40th birthday today. Here is a commemorative website that shows pictures of him through the years, if anyone is interested (which I know all of you are). It seems like only yesterday I was rapping along to the opening credits of Fresh Prince of Bel Air…oh wait, that was yesterday. Although he’s now a rumored homosexual Scientologist, I would still let him dance to Apache by Sugar Hill Gang with (for) me.

Well, the Cubs made it to the playoffs. I’m going to a rooftop today to watch the game against the Cardinals. Every Cubs fan I know is positive they’re going to win the World Series, and Chicago is going to get pretty crazy if they end up doing well in the playoffs. I’m really hoping they don’t choke.

Also, I saw this video of Shaq dominating Tony Parker in an old game. If you were Eva Longoria, which one of these guys would you want to be associated with? She should maybe rethink the decision of marrying Tony Parker, he looks really feeble in this clip.

Craziness in the stock market huh? I know nothing about finance, but I know everything that is going on is not good. I hope all my investment banking friends are hanging in there.

So I’m probably moving back to LA after my summer sojourn in Chicago. Such a random situation, but I’ll be able to visit back here a lot. I’m so excited about the job and hopefully meeting a ton of new people out there. I consider myself a Midwestern girl, but I also have an affinity towards ridiculous jewelry and the Lakers, so hopefully I’ll find my place in Cali.

So I just got a mega job offer in LA, even though I just moved from there a few months ago to Chicago. I have no idea what to do, because I love living in Chicago and have a lot of friends here. I’m in dire need of insight.

Side note: I’m running the Chicago half marathon tomorrow with my mom. Yikes.

I seriously love this video. Matt Damon being interviewed about Sarah Palin. “It’s like a really bad Disney movie.”

He makes multiple good points: It is scary that she could some day know the nuclear codes.

I was just watching Jay Leno with my roommate, and Michael Phelps was the headlining guest. As we sat watching, we both criticized how boring he was. “Didn’t they give him tips on how to interview?!” my roommate asked me. When Jay asked what he had been doing since the Olympics, and Phelps replied absolutely nothing, my roommate and I both made mocking remarks that he has probably been sitting on his ass playing video games since he got back to the US. “Nice hooded sweatshirt,” my roommate said, to which I sarcastically replied “Oh yeah, sweet interview.”

We then sat back and realized we were bitterly critiquing a guy who won 8 gold medals in swimming for the US.

This story just proves that my summer streak of bad dates needs to end. I am now seeing every guy, including one of the best Olympic athletes who has ever lived, as a boring, sloppy, unfunny douchebag. Help.

I’m running the Chicago Half Marathon this Sunday. I’m a tad nervous because I just signed up for it 2 weeks ago and haven’t been “training” in the technical sense. I’m planning on doing miles 7-13 on pure adrenaline. If only I could have Shaq there giving me some motivational singing…